I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
