remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Randomize
