East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Small penises have feelings too.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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