You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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