would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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