Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
It's just like the Real World with babies
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
