What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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