this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
