Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
