The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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