after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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