'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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