yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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