you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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