Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
