Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
