I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
