there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
