marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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