I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
