omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Randomize
