I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
