I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
