Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
