Buhtt sex?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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