I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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