Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It's shark week go big or go home
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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