Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
