he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
