I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
