is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
