I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
