Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
