I got chris browned last night
I bet he comes in French.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
