i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Verdict: uncircumcised.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
