Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
