It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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