The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
