You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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