sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
