I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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