i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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