I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
