i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
