even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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