I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
