dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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