I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
