You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
3pm strippers are depressing
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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