He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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