I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
